Today I am writing to you. Yes, you who feel alone and unloved, even when surrounded by others. I want you to know that I see you and I have been you. I have felt that deep, deep pain. To know love and actually believe it is true can be very hard for some of us. During my middle school years was the first time I can remember struggling with this. It got so bad that I contemplated suicide on and off for probably 3-4 years.
When sharing that with someone recently, who had experienced a loved one trying to hurt themselves, the person asked me who helped me get through that. I was stunned at realizing no one did. Not one single person ever knew I was going through that. Not one. I’m one of the lucky statistics. Scratch that. Not lucky but blessed. Though no human being helped me I wasn’t alone. I believe that was a period of my life where I was closest to God. Here is the funny thing. I didn’t know it. I thought God had abandoned me and I was mad at Him for it, blaming Him for the pain. Thankfully God had a plan for using that pain, of turning it into part of my story that makes me who I am today. I’m someone who can relate to you. I’m someone who still struggles in her adult life, from time to time, believing I’m worthy enough to be loved by another human being.
Nowadays I don’t doubt Christ’s love for me. I did in middle school. Not now. I’ve come face to face with that love, with that forgiveness, with that grace and mercy. It is what fuels me to share with you this pain I’ve experienced. You ARE loved. You ARE NOT alone. If you can’t believe that right now then hold on to this truth from someone who has been there until you can believe it for yourself. Look for Christ because He is so close to you right now!